the countdown has begun, the time is nearing, its nearly time for graduation!

Will I lose my identity when I step out? Or will I find me like I’ve been trying to do the past years. I’ll miss college. I’ll miss fun. I’ll miss friends. I’ll miss knowing shortcuts to and out of class.. I’ll miss knowing the secret loo on the 2nd floor of physics block. I’ll miss peeping into apartments next door to check out the good looking boys, I’ll miss chemistry labs with ramakrishna’s kind face, I’ll miss the dingy dark zoo labs, with a smell of rotten fish that wont go away, I’ll miss my biotech labs with all its brightness and nagin dances. ill miss planning to sneak out of class but chickening out at the last minute. I’ll miss bitching and cursing the zoology department. I’ll miss all our Sholay remakes and the Gabbars and the basantis.. I’ll miss sitting in the auditorium with broken fans whirling in laziness to see the Indian dance. I’ll miss screaming on top of my voice for them. I’ll miss cul ah, I’ll miss the dogs, I’ll miss Sujata’s overpriced coffee and her smile when she says ‘ whaaat da?’. I’ll miss the home science block. I’ll miss scrounging the tree near the canteen for those beautiful flowers . I’ll miss sitting in the basketball court and smiling at madness, because it reminds you of you. I’ll miss being mad. I’ll miss last minute dashes to the cauvery to watch movies, I’ll miss sneaking in vodka into college. I’ll miss gossip, fashion and misfashion. I’ll miss coffee chocolate ice cream cones.. I’ll miss unplanned discussions about life. I ‘ll miss the fiction part in the library where more often than not, I go when I cant borrow the book. I’ll miss sneaking into the library to check out the score of cricket matches, in TV in the reference section, I’ll miss long walks in the campus, I’ll miss green. I’ll miss teachers even. But most of all I’ll miss the sense of belonging. Of being a carmalite. College has taught me confidence, sense of adventure, its given my bestest friends ever. And the best times ever and also that throwing a little attitude hurt no one. Like bhavya said, the footsteps are closer to the door now. Our door to the world. It has to be inevitably opened. But till then, I’ll enjoy a few more days of being a kid with no worries. Adieu to my life in mount carmel. I’ll miss you.but you are always in my heart.

random thoughts

sometimes, i want time to stop, like a pause in your DVD movies, where no one grows older or younger, where the sights , smell and sounds of that moment are imprinted in your heart and it fills it for eternity. i want life itself to be held on a breath, afraid to inhale or exhale, not knowing what may happen , when the moment slips. i want total anonymity, a total lack of knowledge of anything else, except that moment. i want to live that . i want to be that. i know, life'll go on and what i want or what i feel will not matter for more than a millisecond, but, its beautiful still, the world and the moment in its entirety.