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Snoopy

I never was a dog person . i don't think I'll ever be ( due some series of unfortunate events involving these blessed creatures). Snoopy was my best friends dog. He was a mix breed.
I dont know snoopy stories. For that you'll hav eto contact kavita or rujutha.. Even padmini will tell you long stories about what an even tempered dog he was. But, from when i knew him, he'd turned a little crcnky . He was just old perhaps.
Snoopy, had presence in that house. His warning barks. His heavy thumping on the floor as he ran around. He curious sniffs.His alert stance.He had a presence.He passed away some months back. So, yesterday when i went to kavi's house. iknew he wouldnt be there. but I hesitated to open the gate as always. stepped in expecting to be barked at loudly, expecting him to be tied near the kitchen like always.I realized, suddenly, i miss the dog. I miss his presence in the house.

maybe actually im a dog person afterall.

Thikkal Club

I spoke to Anu yesterday for five hours on the phone. Five hours! It was catching up and it was also a breaking of record of sorts. The longest i had been on the phone was with Bhav. And that had been for three hours. So this blog, which is long overdue is about what we spoke about, The Thikkal club.

When i went into BSc, it was the first time i was anywhere without familiar faces. Sush had come along with me when i changed school and both Kavi and Sush were with me in pre university college. I expected not to make too many friends, but by the end of the three years, i had met and befriended some of the best people that i know in my life ( Maana, this is a love letter to my friends, not the previous one..grin) . So we got to be a group. Fourteen girls. Each different from the other. Each so unique that they made my life a canvas of different colours.

Bhav to begin with, was someone i walked home with, her enthusiam and her appreciaton for fun made those walks the most special walks. Her straight forward practicality and her subtle madness made her a very important member of the Thikkal club

Cris, our idealist and the president of the club, was as mad as they made them. She is one of the sharpest i know and didnt hesitate to tell you how it was . This was an irony considering our little butterfly, was in a safe idealist cocoon. I miss our long long talks at the basketball court. I remember how upset she was , when i gave her my cynical views about relationship. She couldnt understand how anyone could be that pessimistic. i miss you.

Ranj, the lady rambo, has a tongue, that can slice even diamonds i guess. She was the witty, the most intelligent and the first person who was thrown out of the EVL club . ;) i remember her atrocious jacket( oh hon, it was really ugly) which she wore like a uniform. She is game, whatever the adventure may be, but really she'd rather sit. The gay gabbar, i think was her idea.

Anu and Shub are like a couple.They are the maddest of the mad. You cant mention one without mentioning the other. They were like a show by themselves. The most well known of the club. There were the nagin dancers, the singers and the bloody entertainment for the whole college. My Basanti and Veeru, they are the cheer factor in any situation. warning: Anu loves her food. Dont mention good resturants in front of her, cause she'll drag you to the end of the world, if need be and make you buy lunch. She always has a retort ready and her sense of humour made her my favorite in the thikkal club. Shub, is just that. Shubha. Noone else like her.

Rio, our tomboy, and Shru's fantastic hair raising and losing fights made us wonder how they'd be if they actually couldnt stand each other! Shru's capsicum bajji is very well known. and her appetite compared to her anorexic frame was astounding. Her initiation into th eclub was the party at Chand's place. She did want her mobile people. :)

Chand, our lost puppy, was the mother. Her head pats were the scariest part of her affection! Chinnu bai's and chickmangalur trip later, we, knew, she had to be the part of the group. matbe we'd rename it Chandu's club.

Preeeeeeethaaaaaaaaa, was our baby, the gaint cherub, her foot in mouth perpetually, her pant-y joke and those dikie jokes are memorable. i remember the girl, once when she was falling , to what she thought was her death, she threw her damn chemistry books to us and said "save them!"She lost her innocent spark as we reached final year, but she is still out darling. We cant thank you and shru enough for all those photocopies honey. i passed BSc because of you.

Nammu and Kavya, were league of their own. The live by their rules. Kavya's kannada bechodu was awesome. Her beat hodeyodu And her Shakiraness was proof of her acute madnessNammu was our dancer, Hritik Roshan fan. Her house was where our booze induced goodbyes turned into a full fledged weeping session

The others , Dev, Kavana, Shivani were all relatively sober compared to us, and very only honarary members of the club.

This blog, is because, i miss you all. To let you know, you were very special to me and will always remain close to my heart. Thanks for the best three years that you've given me.

A slip, that was almost. Thanks!

ok. lets see, How do i start?

I have grappled with a complex of inferiority since i remember. I dont remember what triggered it off, or even if there was actually a trigger at all. I get moody, unreasonable and quite annoying when i go through my certain phases. Mum should know. She has taken the brunt of my misbehaviours. So has Maanasi. This complex that i talk about , made me come close to being clinically depressed, in my first year of college. I survived , with some random brusing to my soul. It took me most of two years to come to terms with the fact that i had to deal with something that was so larger than i. When i spoke to Kavita about it, it was mostly venting. She was supportive, but see, it was my problem. Thanks to a lot of people in my life then, i got over it. Learnt, most of my problems are inconsequential compared to the others around me. Learnt, to talk myself through rare attacks that did happen.

So recently, when i saw the beginning of one of those attacks, i knew i would be able to handle it. But goes to show how sourly wrong you can get about certain things. This time i know the triggers, but still, my control slipped. My mind threw at me, fantastic possibilities and theories. I wanted to give up. But. I got through it. For that, I have to thank certain people , who have unknowingly , cheered me up . Certain people, who were so normal, that, they made me realize that the problem was my perception. Certain people who just declared everlasting friendships.Shubha and Anu, you dont know how much your msgs cheer me up. :) some of these people might not even know what just happened. Might not know that they've helped me. Thanks guys.

The train

I go home every weekend. mostly. I dont go only when class or other lab commitments stop me. These train journey, each, are uniquely different.

People who are on the train, are sme and at the same time so distinct from each other.Each person, that you travel with different. Some kids around you really annoying , few really adorable. Few people who want to know when you are getting married, few who dont even look at you throughout the whole journey. Then they are few who just cant stop talking. Old women and men. Younger IIT kids, with shirts that smell, but an intellect that cant be ignored. Happiness dancing in certain eyes, thoughtfulness in some, but some most annoyingly letching. But these experience, whether am alone or with friends are all wonderful. So much is learnt about just human expression and emotions.

These travels are not only abou the people you meet, or observe. Its about spending time with yourself. There's no better feeling than standing at the door of the train looking out the passing bursts of changing colours, with a cup of bad train coffee and wind in your hair. Its fantastic how every thought is wiped of your brain and you know you'd just rather be here at that mintue than anywhere else.

The train , travelling in it has taught me immense patience, because more often then not, it's late. in coming and also in reaching home. It taught me observation skills and tolerance. It taught me, i could just savour the present, for God knows what the future will bring.

I always feel fantastic, when i get down in cantonment, knowing am home,at least or the next two days. But those journies, or just a part of it remains with me. If you ask me, what i'll miss most about finishing my course and being back home, i'd definitely say it's the train travels

Its been a year. Ive lost touch.
am sitting in my couputatinal lab in college wondering how some things seem to have changed so while some others remain the same
Maanu is married.
I live here.
Adi, Harish , Samrat , Amulya arent even in the same country.
Kavita's changed. She isnt the same.
Uncle had a stroke.
Sameer and Ajay stared work about a year back.Sameer's Quit
Bhavya is flying off forever.
hell, Aamira had a damn baby. Boy.
Everything's changed.
Really, but nothing really has.

hmmm....

boredom apparently. Blankness of brain. numbness etc.

Long time since i wrote.
i got into VIT for MSc.
biomedical genetics.

ok. absolutely nothing to write.

oh yeah... i'll miss you guys......